TF,
Good that you came here to vent.
Deep breaths. Go for a quick run around the block. It’s clear that your children matter to you more than anything. And it must be so hard to see them suffer. You are the bigger man here and you can trust in that.
You’re surrounded by suffering. Your children are suffering. You are suffering. W is suffering. This might be the worst part of the crisis. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself as kindly as you would treat D8.
Don’t take the bait. Let her talk, remember that she is describing feelings, not facts. Let her rant, it’s what she feels she needs to do. Validate, if you can, or just listen and let it fly by.
“Thank you for telling me how you feel, I need to process all of this, and I’ll get back to you.”
You are the rock. Let the waves crash against you.

Or just find a heavy bag and beat the stuffing out of it.

H: 35 W: 33
M: 11 T: 13

4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1")
6/23/18: I moved out
8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")