Whirlwind of Hurt 5

[Twofeet]

D8 had as far as I can tell a panic/anxiety attack at school. How did I find out? W called me and asked that I pick her up. "Hey W what's all that noise in the background. " W responded "I am on lunch at the work cafeteria." Yeah ok I tell W I am not on lunch I am out doing field work. W says she is just too busy and I need to get her. I just decide this isn't worth fighting over, especially since it concerns D8. I pick her up, I tell the school office I need to be the primary contact not W. I have more flexibility to handle issues with the kids, so they make the change. I take D8 back to work with me. On the way to picking up the other 2 kids I let D8 call W to talk about how she was feeling. W talks to me after, I let her know I think it was some kind of panic attack. The school nurse was out so I don't know for sure. D8 is doing great now. I then picked up the other 2 kids. D5 wet herself at school today. I text W the info. W called and I answered out of habit. BAD MOVE. She basically called to chew me out. She is worried about the kids and she is concerned about what I am saying to them. Apparently D8 told W she is disappointed in W because Daddy loves W and would never D her and W D Daddy and left. W then said she told D if she loves me so much she can just live with me FT. D8 said she didn't want to do this so W told D8 Daddy hurt her feelings very badly. Then W said she showed D8 tears. I tried to validate her feelings about the kids health and get a word in edgewise. It was hard and she is just going on a full blown rant then hangs up. She calls back and I answer. BAD MOVE #2. She starts ranting again about how I am messing our kids up. I just stop her and tell her I am not going to sit on the phone listening to her cuss at me. She says you cuss, I cuss , put on your big boy pants. I say I have been working really hard at not cussing and I am not going to listen to her if she is going to talk like this. I then tell her IC told me kids would try to manipulate us. That's what kids do they have a selfish worldview. I tell her things they say go both ways, but I don't let it bother me. You know I don't say things that would affect them. Goodbye.

It took a lot of effort to not get goaded into that fight. She D me out of the blue, packed her things and left. What do you expect, the kids are just going to be ok with her subpar behavior? Somehow this is my fault like I did something to her? Does she think our kids are just stupid and I am manipulative? The kids get it. They got it figured out on day 1. D8 is scary smart, she could pull our strings when she was 4 years old. I am so angry right now. I just want to call her up and chew her out, but it's a fruitless endeavor. Man, it takes a lot of effort to be the bigger person.

I keep telling myself I want to R with my W, but not this person. I don't know this person. The W I M is not the W who is D me. The overnight transformation to this hurt monster was astounding. I stupidly thought she might be softening up. Nope, she is the same as she was on BD.