ovrr - "shagging" is a particularly British expression I think. Goes to show I have been here for far too long.
I don't normally engage in lengthy texts with him. But being disrespectful about me with the kids hit a nerve. I don't need him to like me. I do however, need him to at least pretend to respect me when the children are around.
There is a story MIL, SIL and I use to find funny because it describes my H perfectly. When D9 was a baby I was pushing her in her stroller and H was walking in front of me. He stopped suddenly and the stroller hit the back of his leg. He looked at me and said "urgh, can't you watch where you're going". The very next day he was pushing her in her stroller and I stopped suddenly and he said "urgh, you made me crash into you". That was 8 YEARS ago. There were other incidences over the years - not walking fast enough was a favorite. In the six months pre BD these incidents were a daily occurrence - everything I did was wrong and he would have a go at me front of the children. Every sentence started with "urgh".
I wasn't strong enough to say anything then. I was scared of him and I was desperately trying to save the marriage. Now, I see it for what it is ... systematic bullying.
So, am I still trying to save the M. Maybe. But he has a lot of work to do. But R is now not my primary focus, healing is. I cannot heal if he continues to berate me whenever it suits him. He seems to be happy to play happy families as long as things are going his way. As soon as he gets stressed, then he turns. And I will not be his whipping boy anymore.
