13 yrs and two kids pt. 2.

[Hurt213]

Thank you for the encouraging words...

Basically since I already screwed up, I just decided to go with it and get it over with for now, meaning that I wanted to say my peace.. I tried talking, but I could feel my self become really angry and knew that would turn bad, so I went to bed and texted her instead: I said the following which is completely anti DB, but now im done speaking, and I will return to full on DB. There is me and the kids, and thats it from this point out. I am the only one to blame for seing things and signs that weren't there to begin with:

Text goes like this : "WW, I think I make my point better like this, without the angry voice, without the body language that might come off wrong, just plain and simple text.

You forfeited your ticket to family things with me the day you began this journey of yours. And I am sorry that I turned soft today, and invited you along. That was wrong of me, and I will improve my self and make sure it doesn't happen again, I need to respect my and your boundaries.

You see, I won't be anyones plan B, and you clearly have a plan, so this is how it is, and so be it.

Thank you very much for making sure the kids woke me, that they had presents for me. I know your day was busy, so that means a lot to me, I had a good birthday thanks to them. This last week confused the hell out of me, with some mixed signals (at least I saw them as mixed signals, but they probably weren't). I acted on that and that was out of line, and will not happen again. I don't go into the MBR to hide from you, I go, because you and I are in the past, because of your present choices. Nobody should live with a wife, that goes to see and sleep at another persons house, to come home and wants to play family for a week (she said that this is how I saw it, but thats not what it was for her), and then is at that other persons beck and call whenever he decides its time for her to come over again. Its disrespectful, and I won't ignore it so, I choose to not be near you. I hope, that the house sells quickly, because this must be, I imagine, hard to be in for you. You said on multiple times, that the past 5 - 6 years has been hell and all bad... I just looked through my phone camera album and went back 3 years, there are so many happy moments. I know how its easy to rewrite ones story, to make it better fit the reality you live in, however that doesn't make it true. Shame on you, for making me think, I neglected our kids and you all the time, I just had to see all those moments, that I forgot about. I wish you the best despite all of this. Thank you for the last ever birthday as "hurt 123 "insert surname"" (by this I mean the last birthday where we wake up under same roof and is a family <-- she knows what I mean, I just worded it poorly).

I then included a video of me and her laughing till we cried of laughter.

She didn't respond of course.


So.... DB bells and red flags, and red alerts and what else, I said my peace... Now I am ready to go do my work. Live my life with my kids as if she is not there, and if she is, then she is regarded as the nanny that I don't get personal with.