I am sorry that it has come to your moving out. I would only discuss w/her about your children and anything else that is considered an emergency. I would set up an account whereby the funds are placed in there for her to use. What are you going to do about the utility bills, etc? Are you going to leave them in your name? Just make sure you have a "paper trail" of what you pay her, i.e., a spreadsheet would do for documentation at this time. Set up a visitation calendar so that there are no lapses of memory on her part as to when you have the children.

I would only contact her at this time if it regards your children. Give her the space and time she needs. She will now need to seriously think about getting a job.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.