[AnotherStander]

I'm beginning to wonder if "going dark" is at a detriment to me in my situation. I started reading the Going Dark thread and it states in there that in some instances it doesn't help.

Believe me, EVERYONE thinks that. "If she complained that I was distant in the M, then isn't going dark 'more of the same?'" Here's the thing, when you go dark you are giving her EXACTLY what she wants. If you were distant in the M then you should have fixed that a long time ago, once she became a WAS she no longer wanted you to fix it, she just wants to be done with you. She wants you out of her life. Going dark in and of itself is not going to bring her back. But it will help you detach and it will give her the time and space she needs to sort through things.

By the way, since you have kids and live together there really is no going "dark" in your situation. You can go "dim" but you need to maintain a certain level of contact for the kids and because you are still under the same roof.

Now, I've only been at it probably 4 days or so, which isn't that long, I know.

It is a drop in the ocean. Most people make the mistake of doing it a few days or week before declaring "it didn't work" and breaking into pursuit mode again. NOTHING works in a few days or weeks, you have many, many months or (more likely) a year or more of this ahead of you.

He's shutting down and giving me the silent treatment!"

Keep in mind that going dim/dark doesn't mean being rude and cold to her. You still want to follow Sandi's rules and be the lighthouse, it just means that you leave her alone.

What I'm trying to say is, if going dark is just going to expedite the process than I'm not sure I want to continue.

Going dim/dark is far more likely to slow down the S and D process than speed it up. When you leave her alone and remove all pressure, she no longer feels the need to push through with D. This is EXACTLY what happened with my ex, once I removed the pressure the D went on hold. I've seen it happen here time and time again. Eventually I was the one that pushed the D through, if I hadn't I don't think she ever would have. I'm not saying we would have reconciled, but I think she would have been content to stay married and live apart indefinitely.

It's almost like W is going dark on me too!

She is, but in her case it's not a "technique", it's because right now she wants nothing to do with you as I mentioned above. Don't sweat it, that's how she feels right now. That may very well change in the future. But for now this is your situation and you've got to deal with it accordingly.

I kind of felt sorry for her that she was crying.

She's not crying because she has any remorse. She's crying because of the "situation" she finds herself in. She's crying because she's hurting and she knows everyone else is too. But make no mistake, she still feels her actions are justified.