[SteveLW]

Wanted1, what is the opposite of going dark? Trying to talk to her all the time? How did that tactic work?

Going dark is hard because it is about giving up control. When we initiate conversation we control the conversation. When we try to be around our WAW we control the sitch.

I used this analogy in another thread but what if a friend did or said something that hurt you so you didn't want to be around them anymore. And they immediately responded by trying to force themselves on you. Calling. Texting. showing up at places they know you'll be. How would you feel? Now say instead they just back off and give you time and space? Eventually you might miss them and actually want to be friends again, even if at first you want to "go dark" on them.

It is the same way with a WAW. "I want out. ILYBIANILWY. I need time and space." The opposite of giving them time and space is to smother them. And trust me, even the smallest pursuit and pressure feels like smothering.

So your choices are to hang back and be there if and when she comes to you. Or to force yourself on her. We all question the first one, but it is the only one with an actual chance of success.