Uncertain of What I Have

[ovrrnbw]

Hi Bo,

I just read everything and got caught up, here's my thoughts:

1. Commit to detaching and acting logically. Trust your mind. This will help you immensely.
2. Understand that now that she has BD'ed you (again), that you are more emotional clingy. She's running away and you are married so you try to run with her. You want you needs met at this dire time. But she doesn't want to meet them. Take the emotion out of it and think this through. Give her the time and space.
3. You probably can't trust your W as much as a year ago. That's just the way it is. Accept it, don't fight it, and don't take it out on her in anger.
4. You don't like her calling you by your first name b/c you prefer her calling you the loving petname. Prior to BD, she'd call you "Dad or Daddy", right? But she's indicated she's not sure if she wants you. So things like loving petnames go out the windows. You have no control over this, so you need to let go of it. Don't let it anger you because there is literally nothing you can do about it. If that's how she wants it, call her by her first name as well.
5. Your W opening the bank account in her name may be a reaction to you taking the $75 to your personal account. Don't read into everything she does, but this is a possibility.
6. Don't confront about the sex toys, don't even mention it. It's out of your control so don't get angry about it. She's not sure if she wants you. If you weren't sure about wanting someone to be your girlfriend, would you tell them not to use sex toys? No! So don't do it here either.

Your W is at home every night right? Usually physical affairs mean "sleepovers with the girls" or "I got so drunk I stayed at Jenny's house". I don't doubt that she is looking at this guy as a potential option. Don't confront her about it. Bring the info here.

Could she be sneaking around with this guy during the day?

Also, post your situation details into your signature like mine if you can. It's helpful to recognize posters and situations. From one Catholic to another, I'll pray for you.