Cadet—Had some issues with her relationship with this guy in the past. Earlier in our MR (when we weren’t in a good place), she went on a 4-week training to DC.
Comes back and her and this guy are texting. I ask who—she tells me. I keep seeing this happen in front of me, and I tell her ‘hey could you dial it back?’ I tried explaining to her: look at it from my perspective—if I go away for 4 weeks for a work trip and some young hot thing is blowing up my phone how are you gonna respond? W: Probably not well. Me: So can you please stop. A few months later she tells me that this guy and his now-XW don’t have a very good relationship.
I mentioned this in a response on another thread, but a couple of years ago W and I were out with some of her coworkers / work friends. One of her coworkers asks me if I’m so-and-so (the guy I described).
I was BENT at her the whole ride home and told her so.
She told me some time ago that I need to accept that she would need to have a good work relationship with him. I know this is NGS, but I wasn’t sure what to say in that regard.
Back in the spring when things were better she made a comment to me about ‘I wonder by looking at our phone bill who we text the most besides each other?’ (The phone bill is in her name.). First thought I had? This guy.
Like I said earlier, back in Feb. she told me that there is no OM, but I also know ‘believe nothing they say.’
Some looking at FB and light Googling tell me this guy is now single.
When W and I got married, I gave up a LOT of relationships with my female friends, to draw some boundaries (I still have a good female friend from grad school who will be YS godmother). But that’s pretty much it. I try to have very good boundaries at work—don’t really associate much with female colleagues my age, and students are a pretty obvious line.
