R678: give yourself the kindness and space to feel all of the above. Is it normal to feel all these things? Yes, it is, for you. Most of us have gone through all the same iterations as you. Even 2 years after BD I still can cycle through all of the above, but it is much much better. It is hard work this focusing on yourself and letting go. It is so normal for our minds to keep going to thinking about them, what is "lost" or what maybe we could have done or do. But it is important to constantly remind yourself that although you feel that way she is in her own crises, and you are not a part of it. You didn't create it, and yes you are a victim of it. So sadness, loss, anger, shock, denial. All of these are how we try to cope.
Habit and practice helps, keep doing things for yourself, try to distract yourself from the negative thoughts. Find things to do for yourself. Talk to people who understand (most of the time friends may not). Is therapy an option? It will help you sort through the maze of feelings.
Also holidays and big events tend to be triggers of these feelings, specially very early on (and yes 7 months is very early on unfortunately). But to be aware of that may also help, knowing this is part of the coping and healing.
Keep posting, put words to your feelings, allow yourself to feel bad, note it, then try to turn away to more positive things.
