Yeah, R2C has a good point......as long as your H isn't just cake eating. At this point if he were to go sleep with someone else then you would know for sure that he is not back to the MR fully committed. I'd be very careful about giving him what he is after.
Steve85 it’s hard to say with absolute certainty that he isn’t cake eating. I agree that if he were to go sleep with someone else then I would know he’s not fully committed. I would also know that it’s time for me to pull the plug. However, he’s not sleeping with anyone else. At this point he’s only pursuing me. I keep turning him away because of the detaching thing.
As far as being careful giving him what he’s after, I agree to a certain point. However, I also agree with R2C I want him wanting and thinking about only me.
I’m tired of being the one working on the marriage solo. Upthread I said I’m done trying to save my marriage. It sort of feels like doing this makes me contradict myself. However, I do love my H and never wanted our marriage to end. I am human so I think the fact that my husband can’t seem to quit me, gives me hope.
BUT I do enjoy working on myself. I’m enjoying making myself look and feel good. I’ll admit that I’m also enjoying the fact that he is noticing it. I have no current guarantee about what’s going to happen in my marriage. However, I can at least improve myself (which is actually a good thing), GAL, and stay true to my vows. That way if we do end up divorcing, I can walk away feeling like I did all that I could. I’m proud of myself for the improvements I am making.
My point is that WASs are fickle beings. And I am afraid that if you sleep with him he'll immediately retreat back into his "This marriage is over, I want out" stance. I've seen a million times if I've seen it once. WAHs in particular will manipulate the LBW to get their physical needs met, but it MEANS NOTHING TO THE MR. So the advice here is the same we would give to any LBS:
DO NOT INITIATE SEX. If he initiates you can participate but do not assign any significance or meaning to it. If you sleep with him do not be surprised if the next day, or week, or month he says "I still want out of this marriage." The mistake isn't in having sex...the mistake is in thinking it means the MR is back on track.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
