Hil haven’t posted for a while so here goes .well I’m still cycling back and forth the
With the anxiety the one I cannot seem to shift .not spoken to the mlc for a week now and although I’m concentrating on myself it’s still hard to keep the focus off of her and on me I constantly struggle.i don’t know I’m having a lot of mixed thoughts and feelings confusion it’s all there even the anger makes it’s way through .to be honest I don’t know if this is how it’s going to be from now on because soon as I open my eyes bang instant thoughts again which then sets you off for the day .mayve I’m not strong enough to get through this and I’ll carry on moping around feeling sorry for myself which I don’t want to I want to move forward but don’t know how.itS funny really because although I do still love her I can’t help but be angry at her for making me Like this .its hard as well as because we moved 6 years ago I haven’t really made a lot of friends so apart from a work colleague I haven’t really got anybody to talk to.sometimes I get the thought in my head oh just divorce her then that disappears and the other main issue comes into my head who’s she with is she seeing someone else blah blah blah all negative thoughts I know I just can’t seem to stop them I honestly do not know what the answer is.yoi know it’s been 7 months now since bd and I wouldn’t honestly have thought I’d still be feeling like this I thought it would be better once she moved out but I’m not sure if it is well it is because I couldn’t carry on Living as we were that was horrific but I can’t have these feelings like I have all the time it’s not healthy for me . Is it right to feel resentment toward her for making you like this I know that it’s not her fault she’s having a mlc but the way it’s made me is just not good.you know I even say to myself I’d wished I’d never met her because at least I wouldn’t be like this and I know that’s just anger talking but I can’t seem to break the cycle I wouldn’t wish this on anybody