Is love worth the pain? Back to Basics

[ovrrnbw]

Did, have you ever had girlfriends before your W? After a breakup, did any come sniffing around? Treat your W like an ex-gf. Unless your W is knocking your door down to recommit to the marriage, you treat her like an ex-gf you don't want back. This doesn't require emotions, but just the mindset of "Hey, I'm moved on, we're broken up, I can't help you with everything but I wish you the best."

If you continue MC, just go and listen. Read the validation thread before you see your W every time. Focus on listening to her. When she asks for help, you can't be there for her because she doesn't want you. That's her choice, and until she makes it crystal clear that she chooses the MR, you don't need to treat as if she is still your W.