Secured a place today and moved out. All happened so quickly. Final move out will be next week. No temp orders yet. Atty said not much I can do about kids at this point. Texted W and updated her. She immediately called but I did not answer. She texted and wants to talk. I've never gone dark and wonder how to do it when kids are in the picture. My work schedule the next week precludes me from seeing them anyway.
I am sorry that it has come to your moving out. I would only discuss w/her about your children and anything else that is considered an emergency. I would set up an account whereby the funds are placed in there for her to use. What are you going to do about the utility bills, etc? Are you going to leave them in your name? Just make sure you have a "paper trail" of what you pay her, i.e., a spreadsheet would do for documentation at this time. Set up a visitation calendar so that there are no lapses of memory on her part as to when you have the children.
I would only contact her at this time if it regards your children. Give her the space and time she needs. She will now need to seriously think about getting a job.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Surprisingly my debit card was used out of the country this morning. I received fraud alerts. Additionally there were 2 mysterious withdrawals from the joint bank account this morning, I assumed was her. I called the bank and it may not have been her. I may have to close the joint account and transfer certain amount of money to her, as you stated. Utilities are all in my name.
This is a good time to really secure all the accounts and whatever is legal to do
I would not share any credit cards with her-they rack up debt and if your name is not on her card--she is responsible let her keep her cards just get your name off of them if possible
since there was fraud- it may be easier to do
I took MY name off any and all cards my xh had and boy did he rack up debt the credit places called for years but I was not responsible for any of his spendings
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
No joint CCs. Called the bank again and she indeed opened 2 new accounts and transferred money to each one. Then hit the ATM later on the night. It must be coincidental there was debit card fraud from another country. Atty said I cant do anything at this point since no orders are in. Transferred all direct debits and paycheck to personal account and will deal with it tomorrow. This is a headache.
Peace is so right. You have to stay on top of your credit cards, bank accounts, etc., but they will spend like there is no tomorrow and leave you hanging for the bills.
As for the one outside the country...I would make sure your bank/credit card company is working to get that one taken care of.
When you have a moment, do a credit report and see how things are looking. You might be surprised that she may have more than just the two new accounts.
Just my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Got a list of demands from her attorney. Of course, wants everything in her favor and requesting prompt finalization. Still no job. She had previously told me I could have a bed, sofa and tv and she gets the other 95% of assets. She's in for a rude awakening.
I don't think its unusual for them to ask for a lot
seems they either ask for everything or nothing
they also start out asking for a lot but as the fight wears them down- they finally have to take what their L suggests and some L want the fight to continue because they rack up the bill-
Its usually a heated time-
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
They are very, very selfish and will ask for everything and the moon too. The lawyer may be only typing up what she's demanding. He/she may be advising your wife on things, but that doesn't mean your wife will go along w/what she's been told. Lawyers soon find out just what type of whack jobs they are dealing w/along the way.
Stay the course and if it's 50/50, then that will apply to everything. She needs to get a job and that she be emphasized to her in writing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
