Piecing.......

[SteveLW]

So I thought I would start my own piecing thread. Since we've been in piecing since March.

Here is a link to my other threads:

All of Steve85's previous threads

Quick synopsis. BD 12/23/17 - Initiated by me after discovering her long distance EA. Typical things from WAW/WW. "ILYBIANILWY." "I don't want to be married anymore." Etc.

Her plan was to get a job, get an apartment and get a divorce. For us to stay friends. For my D14 to live with me in the marital home. For her to have a key. For us to have dinners both at the marital home and at her apartment. Etc........

Typical WW fog. Up and down behavior. I want to stay. I want to go. I don't know what I want.

I made classic LBS mistakes the first 2 days of begging, pleading, moping, crying, using logic, etc. Day 3 I remembered DBing based on her first EA in Sept. of 2005. (That time she immediately recommitted back to the marriage.)

Last act of rebellion against the MR was in mid-Feb. After that she committed back to the MR. She began to participate in MC and do the homework. She did a 180 on many things, started to become invested back in the family, the home, etc.

We've been piecing since the end of February. And it has been hard work. I've maintained my 180s, I continue my GAL activities, and I also have learned that detachment is something that all married folks should have (lookup self-differentiation in marriage).