It's likely that your pastor may want to help and talk to you guys if she is willing to talk, but it doesn't seem like that is the case. You never know what she is thinking or going through, so just be strong and carry on brother. Her conflict avoidance is nothing you can do anything about, so don't focus any energy on that. If you find yourself dwelling on it, go for a run or do something.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
