The problem is you and IHURT are still under the impression that this is a solvable equation. If I do X and Y and I am really nice about Z she will change her mind and not D me.
You are afraid that every time you have to say "NO" it deeper seals your fate. The truth of the matter your fate was sealed at BD. My best guess estimate is only 1 out of 10 change their mind PRIOR to divorce after BD. They think there is something better out there and nothing other then reality is gonna change it.
Do what feels right to you. If you don't want to help don't help. Just be firm on your decision.
