Just a bit of journaling. Things remain pretty much the same. Work has been Super busy with the Dec 31st deadline. I'm still working on 2 new projects. The owner my supervisor, has shows signs of instability and a short fuse. While in I was his office he was on speaker with another employee. Emotions quickly escalated between the other employee and my boss and soon there was cussing and swearing. Then my boss says you are fired bring me all the company equipment. I was there to witness this whole debacle. Shortly after this happened the two began to text and made up. apparently from others in the office this has happened many times before. The next day I spoke with my boss . I mentioned that it is his company so that things should be ran as he sees fit. I also mentioned that it is ok to have a different opinion than someone else - at times diversity can strengthen a team. It is ok to be upset with errors or mistake. The I said it is NOT ok to disrespect someone. I then said if he were ever to show me disrespect the conversation ends at that point and i will walk away. If and when he can talk to me like an adult then the conversation will resume. He said he would respect my views and it was good that I brought it up.
Last weekend I went with S to visit my friend the priest that married me and my W. We shared lunch together it was a nice celebration to celebrate Family and friends. S continues to keep plugging away and do well in school.
This past weekend I had a brief interaction with my W she came by the house to go thru the garage and pick up some Christmas decorations. She looks very aged. In the process the conversation was light and cordial. Mostly about how S is doing. She asked about an old typewriter from her aunt that was in the basement so I went to get it. As I came out my dog followed me- funny how this guy is most friendly with EVERYBODY but he just went about his thing and avoided her. She even tried to call him and he would not stop following me. As she was packing her bags she mentioned to me that we need to figure out a separation agreement and the possibility of selling the house. I just validated and said I see you want to complete the process and I will not deter you from what you are doing.- I will also let you know I will not be doing anything because it goes against my morals and values and simply ended the conversation at that.
After mass Sunday we had a brunch to celebrate the beginning of Advent. we have 4 masses on the weekend so a lot of people who know my family did not know I had been separated. When the asked about my W I just told them to pray for my family. I did get a lot of compliments on how well and healthy I looked. One older lady who know my sitch - says such a handsome man with a great boy you will be such a good prize for somebody. I just smiled and said I put it in Gods hands.
For now things are ok. I truly miss my family during this time. It was Christmas time that my W and I met. I even invited her to spend Christmas with my family when she was alone because she was working and her family lived far away. I even tried to make Christmas magical for my family - playing off the Santa themes and going as far as potting carrots cookies and milk out for Santa and his crew. At one point we made secret Santa sparkles that we sprinkled on the lawn only to find half eaten carrots and deer prints there. I truly miss these moments where family becomes the primary focus. I would always really put the fortitude and effort into the gifts just to see that smile or level of excitement or the emotion of WOW! you really know who I am and thought about me. For this year it will be all about my S. I have already bought him a new baseball glove because he needs one . I will also get him some new skates so that we can spend afternoons at the arena or an outdoor rink. No matter what , I will attempt to make this a magical Christmas for him and I to remember and cherish.
Thank you all for your love and support on this extended journey- Blessings!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
