Thanks for the encouragement, ovr. I believe she is truly concerned about me. Honestly, she continues to be the finest person I know, even through this phase.
I have arrived at an understanding we all probably know intellectually, but it has taken me until now to internalize: true love can only be bestowed; it cannot be demanded or earned.
From me to her, this means: for now, I wait. I bestow my love without conditions or expectations.
From her (if she ever gets there) to me, this means: If she cannot work through the fog to discover she loves me as I am, I walk forward, hoping to meet someone who does. I have already expressed remorse and a resolve to be more mindful of her needs. I will no longer self-justify or offer statements hoping she sees I'm a nice guy. I am who I am.
