Ok Bo, I went ahead and went over your sitch and the excellent advice you are getting form the folks here. So I do not have much new to add, other that this:
Be patient.This process takes time. And in most cases, will be painful. Despite that, keep going. Force yourself. Do not back up from any changes you have made.
PPD is something she will need to work through. Let her work through her own process. You be there to validate as needed.
Bo, I do not understand about your affair comment. You want to be intimate with the W as you knew her before BD?
Thanks, pain.
I’ll do my best to validate as needed. I mentioned this in an earlier post, but I can’t help but believe that if her anger / depression / whatever is THAT BAD, why isn’t she in front of a therapist every week or two? I also know that one symptom of depression is paradoxically NOT seeking help—wanting to wall yourself up. I know because I’ve been there.
You are pretty much correct re: the affair comment. Would be nice for her to come back to the woman that she was before ILYBINILWY. But I should start accepting that that woman is in the past, and that I need to get ready for a new woman—the new woman from her that I hope comes through the other side, or someone else in time.
