I was in your same shoes. The problem is not that you did it. Is that you did it with a thermometer stuck in the activies rectum to check the temp:
"I spent more time with her today, let's see if it has an impact on the sack tonight!" Nope, no impact. "I did nice things for her today, let's see if it has an impact on the sack tonight!" Nope, no impact. "I bought her a nice gift today, let's see if it has an impact on the sack tonight!" Nope, no impact.
We call this Nice Guy Syndrome...I do this, I expect that. It is a covert contract "since I've done this for her she should do that for me!"
Here is your problem. Wives have a sixth sense on this stuff. I can almost guarantee you that when you did these things, hoping it had an impact in the sex department, your wife felt that unspoken expectations and it dried her up between the legs faster than a jet engine.
Please read No More Mr. Nice Guy. Having nice guy syndrome is not nice at all. I thought you might have a touch of it when you said "everyone says I was a good dad!" Nice guys say stuff like that all the time. "I'm a nice guy, everyone says so!"
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
