Oh mY DID. I don't have time to nicely break down your post and reply but you contradicted yourself so many times, I lost count.
1st- this is not DBing even remotely.
2- you rescued her like 10 time sin this story. Telling her you are always there for her because you are her family?? So she can can play the woah is me card while she texts other men and you could be her knight in shining armor? She knows she's got you and she can do whatever she wants.
3- you totally rescued her when she drank too much. Just because she came to you, you bailed her out ofher situation and included her. If you were concerned to have D4 around her hungover, you should have just taken D4, and not have had family movie time.
4- for the love of God, please stop trying to express your desire for her to work on herself.
Nothing has to be said. You are sitting here saying you need to say something because "this sh!t is not oK" but your actions show her it is! Your words are empty because your actions show her she can do what she would like and use you for comfort and to rescue her.
The last thing you two need is marriage counseling. And the last thing you need to do is tell her she needs therapy. Work on yourself, go dark, quit engaging and being this guy who comes to her aid. She's a big girl, let her deal.
If you want to move forward with your life, then move forward with your life. This is something you do regardless of her.
I will reiterate. absolutely nothing needs to be said. They only need to be acted on.
