F - It wasn't her sons clothes. It was a high school sweatshirt (from the school her son goes to) and she had ribbons in her hair the matched the school colors. It was her, her brother and younger daughter in the picture as they were cheering him on.
L - Never again......I had two girls that ghosted me earlier on try to re-initiate contact with me again. Walking away is the strongest negotiating position. Heck I have even had 2 girls that I ended it with attempt to reach back out to me as well.
She sounds good, as long as she isn't one of those social media attention whores who receive validation from men liking their scantily clad filtered pics.
but, come one bro, you need either interpret this coach correctly or try dropping the coach and act on your own instincts. Else some woman is going to kick you in the nuts.
She sounds good, as long as she isn't one of those social media attention whores who receive validation from men liking their scantily clad filtered pics.
You should know this Ginger women dont wear what they wear for men, they wear it for women.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
but, come one bro, you need either interpret this coach correctly or try dropping the coach and act on your own instincts. Else some woman is going to kick you in the nuts.
The bad things about books is they are interpreted different way by different people. Take a look at the Bible one passage can have multiple interpretations depending upon the person reading it.
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
They wear it for everyone and anyone who will give them some validation. My friend has a friend like that, and her social media feeds are entertaining, but really sad.
Well she is on FB not IG and in my experience IG is where all the attention whores reside. Most of her FB pictures are of her, her kids, and extended family. I did not see one picture of her (or her girlfriends) and men out clubbing.
She is 46 years old and has a 16 yr old son and an 11 yr old daughter that she has full time so I highly doubt she has time to mess around with "just" anyone. She also has an executive level position for a large corporation and has been traveling out of town for the last 2 weeks. She had to fly her brother in last week to watch her kids while she was gone. Obviously I still don't know a lot about her but she just does not give me that impression........initially.
However since The Coach is my "guru" I am sure she is a complete piece of $hit and someone I would never bring home to my mom. I don't think the coaches pictures are up on my profile or that the coach wrote my bio or that the coach texted her or spoke to her in place of me during our phone conversations. Granted we will have our first date on Friday (unless she flakes) but I must have done something right.
Oh and for the record would lay on the couch and watch Netflix with whomever I was dating.
I think she sounds great, quite honestly. I hate to see you stick so tightly to the misinterpretations of this coach. I am sure she is attracted to exactly who you are because you wrote that bio and those pics are you. COntinue in person and approaching this as you, and not on some sort of coaches advice that is NOT GOOD in the way you are interpreting it (not knocking the coach, but the way the advice could be interpreted).
How would JOSEPH like to handle a nice professional, pretty single mother? back in the day before there were coaches to tell you how to handle it? If you enjoyed your first date and would like another one, how does the real JOSEPH his own man want to handle that?
Sometimes I tease you for fun. I never mean to insult you. I honestly don't think you are being true to yourself and want to go by some book, and the book is being misread. And as annoying as I am, I am a decent woman, one like you might run into that you would want to date. And I know the approaches would drive me nuts. I think I would like what the real Joe feels like doing in his instincts. I think that will get you closer to your goal.
I know. I will just see how it pans out but I am optimistic.
When I am on dates I don't feel like I am following some strategy. I feel like I am myself, I try to relax, have fun, and engage her in fun topics. I try to not make the dates heavy and it certainly helps when the woman is engaging as well, actively participating.
Most of his advice that I have taken so far are his texting strategies. Trying to make sure I don't over text, blow up her phone, act desperate etc. Trying to find a balance of pursuing, showing interest but not over doing it. While also giving her the appropriate amount of time and space away from me.
I have no problems asking a girl out, and making specific plans. Picking the place and the time.
If it was me I would call her whenever I wanted, texted when I wanted and I wouldn't worry about coming across as being needy, desperate, etc. I wouldn't worry about having a life or giving her time and space etc. I would not show restraint, I would just do whatever I wanted and if it turned her off then I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
If I had fun and enjoyed the date I would just ask her out immediately. I would probably tell her immediately how awesome she is and how much fun I had and tell her I would like to see her again.
Like right now for example......I haven't spoke to her since yesterday morning and I was the one that initiated contact. It was a texting conversation that ended with me making comment about something and she didn't respond back. I think her doorbell rang. I could easily have reached out today and she could have reached out to me as well but she hasn't so I have no clue who will reach out first next. If it was me I would just drop her another note but I don't think that is wise.
Last week she swiped R on me first on BUMBLE then obviously initiated that conversation on Sunday. She initiated contact again on Tuesday, there was no contact on Wednesday, I dropped her a quick note Thursday am, and she initiated contact twice on Friday, no contact on Saturday, and then I initiated yesterday.
Strategy or no strategy I do think there is some method to the madness.
I left off she also initiated contact last Monday as well.
Last edited by Cadet; 12/06/1806:06 PM. Reason: combine posts
As long as i liked the guy, i would love it if he felt confident enough to text or call me freely without the games. It would only feel annoying if i did not like him and was trying to drop him. Now when women do this, it turns a guy off. When men do this it is flattering. A guy that does not dote a lot of attention when pursuing is not gonna seem very invested. Hes not gonna attract me as much. Hes gonna be competing with other alpha guys that are giving that attention.
I tend to stereotype. But i think women get turned on by being attractive to someone. By getting attention. Its masculine to do the pursuing. To be a bit aggressive. (Not talking stalkerish) to do what you said you would instinctively like to do is actually attractive to women.
To go tit for tat. Wait 3 days to text or what ever is transparent and not a turn on. Does not invoke chemistry. It just shows beta and weakness.
(Now what i dislike, is that many men tend to do this in the beginning and then once they get the girl, it all dies down. But thats another story. )
Joe, just be confident. Go for what you want. Just dont get attached so much to the outxome this early on.
Word for word. If she is interested in you, she sure is going to want you to ask her out again right away. If she isn't all that interested, that's when it is a turnoff.
Right after my first date with M he texted when I got home and said he had such a great time and would love to do it again. I had such a great time, I was thrilled he said that right away! He went for what he wanted, and he showed it was me.
That's many and attractive, and it has yielded very positive results for him:)
I understand.....we have not spoken or texted since Sunday morning which was initiated by me. She was pursuing hard last week, even reached out to me twice on Friday but now it seems she has gone a little cold or at minimum has pulled back some. When I reached out to her on Sunday morning she responded in two minutes. I really don’t want to play games but I also know that texting her or reaching out to her every day is prob not the answer either.
