Are you in IC at all Turbine? Sounds like you should look into it if you aren’t. You may also want to see your doctor about an antideppressant or something for anxiety. It’s not a fix but it could help you to stabilize a bit. I’ve started reading about co-dependency and also have The Language off Letting Go which is a 365 article (one for each day of the year) that help to move you in that direction. I know how painful this is T. I only see my H for very brief periods of time so am not faced with it constantly but when I do see him, it definitely affects me. I miss him but the person I missed left long ago and an imposter showed up in his place. You have to really double down on finding you...without her. It’s the only way. Maybe find some more GAL activities that are more social in nature? A support group even? I can’t recall which LBH on here is going to one of those but he finds it very helpful. You need an outlet to work through these feelings of you. Are there crisis services where you live? Somewhere you can go to talk to someone when you are having a really bad day? Anyway...those are just the things that came to my mind. Others on here might have more suggestions. Hang in there Turbine. You are not alone. There are many of us out there going through the same thing and many people who have gone through it and come out the other side better people and for those who reconciled, in much better relationships. That could be you too but not unless you drop the rope. (((Turbine)))
