Thanks for the followup post with more information, it was very helpful. First, I know how you feel. Everyone's BD is different but the emotions tend to be the same.
I see a lot of similarities in your relationship with your WAW and a friend of mine. She too always saw me as a friend. When her husband started acting strange towards her a few years ago, she came running to me. I made it clear to her at the time that I was married and couldn't be more than a shoulder for her to cry on. She spent the next few years trying to convince me otherwise, even had a PA with another guy during that time (I again was support for her when he not surprisingly hurt her badly). My point is that if at anytime I would have given in and been more for her, I would have been a temporary bandaid.
When I look at your sitch I see a shattered woman, about to become a mother, with no other prospects at the time. She reached out to you to rescue her, which you did. Long-term romantic success is built on much more than this and any relationship with this dynamic at its core is probably doomed to eventually having issues unless there is a lot of work put into it. You said that she accused you of a lack of intimacy, yet she never initiated. Are you sure you were speaking the same language with her on that? Most women view intimacy more related to non-sexual contact: hugging, sharing, discussing, spending time together, getting and giving gifts, and acts of service. Most guys jump right to Barry White songs and getting down and dirty in the sheets. Likely she meant the intimacy she was missing was the first and not the last. This is what I mean by work. Getting married is relatively easy. Maintaining a marriage requires work, growth, learning, counseling, improving, and understanding your partner.
Have you read the 5 love languages? Have you read No More Mr. Nice Guy? Obviously you should read DB/DR. Stop focusing on your contact or lack of contact with her. And start focusing on self-improvement. GAL, 180s, and detaching.
Saving your marriage is not entirely up to you. But saving yourself is fully within YOUR control!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
