In general my Ws venting has been about what she has done wrong. She has apologized continuously and has shown extreme disappointment in herself about what she has done to me with A. Although no details have been mentioned she acknowledges that it will have to come up just isn't ready. She wants me to see her IC at some point with her. I told her we are not there yet but agreed. I agree talking with the bartender was an ego boost and I thought helped me realize that moving on is possible with out W if it works out that way. I have also been staying in touch with old male friends that has helped with my sitch.
We haven't discussed NC with OM or A like I said but her opening up has been more and more of her realizing the hurt she has done to me...def not just I'm sorrys at this point.
I know drinking is a problem and haven't addressed yet but she is having surgery at the end of the month that will put her out of commission for 10 days so maybe that will be a turning point for her but we'll see.
As far as distancing a bit, this month is shaping up well for that, I am headed to Vegas for 4 days for a wedding then when I get back W is leaving for LA for 4 days for work then home for 2 days then back on travel for a few more days. We will def be apart in the next few weeks with less days together.
My W is going through depression right now for sure and is addressing that in IC and is taking meds for it. I am making sure to still keep my distance and not diving in emotionally although I will admit physically am failing as we have had that connection which I know is probably not good but she is 100% the initiator.
I am still in amazement of the 180 that she has done....for now, but I am sure there are a lot of factors and probably not just pure remorse. When she was working out of the house she left everyday looking sharp and said it was so much easier to just go out or do things after work socially. Now working from home she said she doesn't want to just meet up for HHs with friends, or go out even on the weekends. She "says" she just can't wait for me to come home and wants to spend her time with me. She has even more freedom now if she wanted to run around and see OM, etc but hasn't. She has been available to take care of S14 more now and is doing things around the house that she wasn't doing before.
My eyes are wide open and I am have been less available to communicate during the day, I don't jump right in her lap when I am home, I am still following my workout routine and have had a few GAL activities during the week but admit they have not been full evening events.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
