"I can't control my own actions. And I hate what those actions are. I have feelings for another man due to no choice of my own."
In other words, she wants you to forgive her because after all it isn't her fault.
It makes me want to vomit. It is disgusting. It is her trying to convince you that she owns this while at the same time telling you and her both that she doesn't because this is bigger than her.
Everything she stated is IN HER CONTROL! And to deny that is to lie to herself. It physically sickens me to read these kinds of things.
Oh, and the transparency in the "I want use to be besties!" is so sickening. "Who else am I going to watch GOT with?" PUKE.
Now your response. Or I should say reaction. In the future you'd do better to hold off on responding and get feedback here and other places. Your response wasn't bad, but it could have been better. It was way too long for starters. I would have opted for something like:
"I am not mad at you. I actually pity you. You are giving up a family for a feeling. Family is real, feelings are fleeting. Good luck in your new life, I truly hope you find happiness even if it isn't with us."
This keeps the spirit of your response (I really like the way you made it about you AND the kids, not just you and her like she tried to do). Succinctness is your friend. Remember, one of the greatest tools in DBing is mystery. Rather than a long response that tells her exactly how you feel, let her wonder "hmmm, I wonder what that letter made him think and feel?"
I said you reacted rather than responded because that is what we tend to do off the cuff. And you're right, this was more temp checking than anything. "We are selling the house. I am leaving for another man. I am destroying our family. I am sorry, but will you still be part of my life?"
So glad I didn't just eat breakfast.............
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
