This morning saw there was home made spaghetti sauce in the fridge. She made the recipe that my Mom taught her. She made it somewhere else and brought home a container. Not the other way around. Brought it home. Not long after BD she had said after making it, that this would be the last time she made it for us/me/ whatever (memory is not very clear right now)
Felt like my heart was ripped out all over again. finished making my lunch, said goodbye out loud and left. She wasin the bathroom with the door shut so I doubt she head me.
Got into the car and imploded like a super giant. not just tears, past tears by light-years. I can't FOXTROT do this anymore. I can't stop loving you (her by name). I don't want this. I feel so broken right now W. I love you so FOXTROT much.
I normally don't swear but i was then. I feel so lost. Calling about a coach today.
I want the miracle God.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
