13 yrs and two kids pt. 2.

[Hurt213]

Update:

So apparently WW is having some difficulties coping, or she is just temp checking: She wrote me that "you got mail", and surely I did. I am going to translate it, and let you guys take a swing at what this is.

From WW:

"So, now it became my turn to write a letter to you... I want to apologize. Sorry for everything.. It is really so wrong of me to do this.. I know, that you do not hate me, but I have, without a doubt, hate for myself. Sometimes when I am alone, I have panic attacks, and I have trouble breathing. I am feeling like I am being completely destroyed inside, and it is all my fault. I am so impressed by you, and I have so much respect for you. You are the biggest man, with the biggest heart, and that showed in how you have fought for your family and me. I cannot deny that I have feelings for another man, however I cannot deny either, that I am very impressed by the man you have become. As I have said before, everything would had been so much easier, if you had just been the old "hurt...". Now here we are, the situation is like this, we are selling our home. Something in me really wants to, and is ready to sign the papers, but something else in me is so afraid for the unknown, and what the future will bring and the fact that maybe this is the end for me and you.

Because you and I hasn't been all bad, no. Goddamn there has been so much good. Our humor, our confidence, our unity. It has made me strong, but at the same time made us both weak. So what now? Are we going our separate ways, in order for us to get to know ourselves? I think so? I am so afraid to stay with you, and then not be able to be in it, and then do this to you all over again. I am so afraid, to loose what we have both become these last months. Will it ever be us again? Right now I wouldn't be able to do it, without wondering, why didn't I try to be by myself and stand on my own legs?

Maybe we will both find another soon... and become happy.. maybe not... Everything inside of me is a complete mess.. And I want to apologize again.. Im a lousy human being, and you are without a doubt the best... I would love to be able to talk to you, laugh with you, and that we could be best friends, but I understand that you can't...

I want you in my life, who else am I going to watch Game of Thrones with ? - There is only you, who have been by my side through youth, only you who I have had children with. All of this, will stay with us forever.. So.... Sorry, sorry, sorry that I am not able to give myself to continue our relationship. I understand that you are mad at me.. I really want to have a good time with you on your birthday, but I accept that you can't deal with it.

Sorry that I completely ruined everything"..

I did respond, even though I shouldn't have (failed at temp check like the tool I am).

I wrote:

"I am not mad with you, if that is what you feel, then you are misinterpreting my signals."I simply have let go, because you made a choice, a choice that clearly stated, that you do not believe we were something special, that could be a fairytale (you don't need to go out and stand on your own legs, to figure that out). Feelings aren't something we as human beings have control over, but feelings come and go. However, we as human beings are responsible for how we act on those feelings. You took our mutual future, and the mutual future of our children and you crushed it, because you acted on a feeling to go on dates, to go on adventures without having to deal with children, and because you felt alive doing these things (who wouldn't, its tough raising little human beings). All of these things, you could have had, because our children are reaching an age soon, where it is possible to go out, and live little again. Harvest the fruits of the hard labor so to speak. So fly little bird, fly out, and live the life, you didn't have the patience to wait for at home."

Allright, tell me how bad I screwed up...