Still living under same roof. It is difficult, especially knowing she's having an A. I am remaining calm and non confrontational but am NOT letting her push me around anymore.
Tonight I am taking the kids downtown for Santas village. I purchased tickets for all of us when we reconciled and now she is mad I didn't invite her. I explained how things have changed and I want to take the kids myself. She seemed angry about it. Sometimes I want to explain how sorry I feel for her and want to help, but I know that's not good to do.
I work in 7 day stretches (now off) and have gone out the past few nights, once pretty late and last night until 11. I did help and put kids to bed both nights. She is frustrated with it and insists tonight is her night to go out. I'm sure she going to meet OM. I will pour myself into the kids and enjoy my time.
Here's a phrase that we use quite often when a spouse is acting out. We say "I am sorry you feel that way" and then walk away. It's very simple and it is up to them to either stay feeling the way they do or get over it.
I would give her the ticket you purchased for her and let her decide whether to go on her own and meet up with the kids later or stay home and have a tempter tantrum.
I am glad you and the kids are going to Santa's village. Enjoy the time away. It will be good for all of you to enjoy the evening w/o the undue tension in your home.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I set ticket on counter and said "here is your ticket"
She said something but kids were talking as we headed to garage. She came out to garage (in front of kids) and said not to ignore her and to give ticket to a needy person who would enjoy the show. I looked at her, brought it back to the counter and slapped it down, then left.
Don't allow her attitude to get under your skin. Rise above it and show her that no matter what she throws at you, you will remain positive and enjoy the holiday season. She's a miserable woman right now and nothing, and I do mean nothing, will make her happy. She is only hurting herself behaving this way.
Hope you and the kids had a great time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well, this morning had coffee at the table with her while the kids played. She apologized for her actions last night and said she's under a lot of stress. Then she started to cry and said she wants to make the holiday season as best for the kids as we can. At the same time she said she doesn't even want to celebrate Xmas. She also tried to get me to talk about details of D but I refused and navigated away from it. She SAYS she wants to get along for the sake of the kids. I have been doing my part so this is up to her. I did not get roped in and will look for some consistency.
Maybe set up a time and place without kids to do that
Do not avoid it
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
The only detail I have talked with her is that I will eventually move out and will remain in the current school district, which she cannot afford to live in. After our discussion today she gave me a big hug and we started into each others eyes for 30 seconds or so......didn't say anything. That hasn't happened in a while.
I fear the inevitable is happening and we will be separated. A mediation date will be 2-3 months after temp orders are filed, so likely in the spring. I feel the time for last ditch effort is here. Is it advisable to sit her down and make sure there not any chance for reconciliation before going through with this? Of not, what are other last ditch efforts?
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
The last resort technique is what I have been practicing for about a month now. Today was the first time we have really talked and she extended the olive branch. Not only with an apology but saying thank you for almost everything, making eye contact frequently and seems to be making an effort to do so. I am taking with a grain of salt and will watch and wait to see what happens. Regarding therapy, she has promised couples counseling on several occasions and told me last week we will no longer do it. I have not mentioned it in the context of co parenting therapy though.
