Finding the Balance then Tipping the Scale (TWO)

[joejoe1]

Adam,

The 2 years you read about is an average. Only you know your W. If you are sure you are looking at your W in an objective light and you see her remorse than it might be a much shorter time period than two years.

Every person and M is different. Don't put pressure on her and remember to detach with love. I used every opportunity I had to present a positive attitude in front of my W I could. The more she sees you in a positive light the more her assumptions of you change. Remember consistency. I will say she probably is scared that all your changes are to just get her back and will go away once she decides to stay. That's a legitimate concern, and she has a right to be cautious with you over your changes, just like you will have the same if you recon about her infidelity.

I got BD in June 2017, the ILYBNILWY, and she's done. I found about my W affair in August (it started in July). I found this forum at the end of August and started applying DBing techinques. She started temp testing and coming closure all thru September. At the end of September I caught her talking to him again and trying to meet up with him. I had enough of the disrespect and I was ready to start moving forward with my life (key statement: I was ready). I woke her up and told her to get her Sh!t and leave (I could tell she knew I meant it, I was done.). After that day her disrespect start to subside. By Halloween she wanted to start to work on the M. It has been over year since recon has started and respect is back on both sides.

Be patient, don't rush it. During the month of October, after I told her to leave, I still was detaching with love. I still stayed positive. I still did my GAL. My changes was for me and she got to see the consistency and a man only a fool would leave.

Pay attention to the signs she give you! Watch her actions, don't go off her words alone.

You are doing great. I wanted to give you my story, so you know that you are on a good track.