Hi Grace. Month three for me too. You sound like you are doing pretty well and have a great day planned. Definitely stop checking up on your H. NOthing good can come of it. I have resisted that urge this whole way along other than the obvious VISA charges but even then, I don’t over analyze those either. Detaching is that much harder if you go down that road. Even though it may not be true, I tend to assume the worst. I think it is my way of slowly desensitizing myself to any information that might come my way at a later date. So when/if I do find out something I don’t want to know about, it hopefully won’t knock my feet out from under me and I can continue on.
I have also told a few more people about my H and I too. Not the details...those are just too unbelievable and embarrassing for my H (I still feel somewhat protective of him)...but just that he has moved out. It does help and yes, it does seem that all marriages are vulnerable. DR talks about the stages of marriage and how many people bail in stage two or three and never get to the last stage which is the most satisfying apparently. I wish my H and I had gotten there...that he had more faith and determination to persevere and make an effort to improve our relationship. But...he didn’t and I have to accept that and move on. Still very sad...we could have had it all.
Anyway...keep doing what you are doing. Detach but don’t lose all hope. Read Happy Again’s thread that Cadet posted. Unlikely your H is as sure about things as he wants you to believe. He needs to figure that out himself though. (((Grace)))
