I have the list I created earlier and I am working it. I'm proud of the progress I made the last four months and hoping the growth continues. I am feeling stronger. I know I am getting stronger. It is painful, and I will continue to express the pain through various outlets, this place included.
Kept it quiet between W and I all morning. Thought I would check up on her but we're not together and I figured I would get a call if she was not feeling great.
I got a call while I was on my lunch break from W's mom asking if I was picking her up in the city today. I said "no. I already told you and W that I had other plans." Her mom then went into a crying rant about how she will ask W to pick her up and how W has changed and she wants to see D4 and so on. I just listened and validated ("I understand that you feel she has changed and it has upset you." ). Five minutes after I hung up, I get a call from W. She tells me that W's mom just laid into W about me not picking her up and upset that no one can pick her up to take her to see D4 at our house. I listened. W then asked me why I was upset with her. I said I was not upset and told her that I had tentative evening plans with D4 and will not change them. I was calm and firm. W then broke down and asked me why I was yelling and talking down to her. I stopped her and said I am not doing no such thing. W then told me that she things I have feelings because of the way I have been acting. She told me that I just "threw a blanket and food at her like I was mad at her." I disagreed and said I did not think I was acting angrily, but I validated by telling her I see how me tossing stuff like that would make it seem that way. I said that I will be more conscientious of my actions like that going forward. She said she was sorry she could not "listen to my feelings but she has been sick all week", and so on. I told again, that everything was fine. I ended the call by asking if we were good. She said "no, but I'll be ok." I told her to get some rest and hung up.
Three hours later I get a call from W informing me that the doctor found the root cause of her pain...IUD malfunction. It required removal, possibly surgery. She sounded very scared. At that point, I listened and said that it was very worrying. I did not say it was going to be ok or go to ER or anything else, because she knew her options already. I left early to go home and just make sure things were ok at home with D4. I get a call a half hour later from W telling me she is going to doctor to get the IUD removed. 30 minutes later, the IUD is removed, she says she is feeling better, she comes home.
She talked about the situation she was in, I listened and gave her my full attention.
We went to bed in our separate rooms not long after.
One thing I have noticed and have been doing is that I have been taking control of her health sitch and telling her to do things like go to the ER, take meds, eat and so on, when before I would be sweet-talking into doing that stuff and checking and so on. No such case this time. My mentality is, if she needs something she will ask. Otherwise, everything is fine.
