That's such a nightmare! As a mother I couldn't tolerate that. You already said yes before you knew and can't stop your husband from introducing your daughter to OW and OW's daughter, but could you tell your husband you changed your mind and you don't want her to go? Sure eventually it'll happen anyway and your husband will probably just fight back, but is it in your daughter's best interest to send her off on a trip where she sees your husband and his girlfriend together as a couple when your daughter still remembers you and your husband together as a couple? And to be paired with another girl who she doesn't know and they have to stay together in a hotel? It seems that'll be confusing for your daughter. Maybe there's nothing you can do and you have a great ability to manage your reactions, but I know personally I'd fight against such a trip.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's so unfair to you and your daughters. I know there is an endless supply of affair partners and OW's in the world, so if it's not one it's another, but you have to question any woman who's willing to break apart a family and steal a husband from a pregnant mother or mother of a newborn. Such a woman is evil. I'm sure your husband told her all kinds of lies about how you're a bad person and he's the victim, etc.. to gain the OW's sympathy but still, if she was a good person, she'd refrain from engaging in an affair. Now that she's stolen your husband she's suddenly going to be a mother figure to your daughter going on a fun trip? Don't we as parents have a right to know who is staying with our children in a hotel or traveling with them?
By the way last winter right after my husband wanted to get divorced he whisked off his girlfriend to Dubai for an ultra-luxury getaway staying next to the Burj Khalifa, going on a desert safari, and dining at the best restaurants. He never even called to say goodbye to our daughter before he left, we had no idea where he was going (he said he's taking his father to his home country), and he had stopped paying for our expenses a few weeks before that. I was sick, unemployed, had no money, and I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor of a shabby apartment totally broken by my husband leaving right when we built our dream house and he was off having the time of his life with a 26 year old he'd just met a few months before. I don't know how these things are possible. Just like your husband my husband used to be so sweet, gentle, and loving. I guess the minute they fall out of love with us, and in love with someone else, then they become that sweet gentle person to the new woman and all we see is a monster.
It's terrible when you get blamed for the marriage ending and your husband is already off enjoying his life with another woman, just like you've become trash and the other woman is a beautiful pearl. But these other women who enable these men's behavior and men who make these choices will face the consequences. I don't believe in Karma, but I believe eventually your husband's fantasy bubble will burst or he'll realize on his deathbed what he's done. And the other woman will eventually get cheated on by some other guy or will end up single and no guy will want her because she's not a high quality, good woman.
All I can do is sympathize. I'm working with a very senior person from the UK government who's had many life experiences. His wife is currently dying of cancer and he said he doesn't know what he'll do when she's gone. I was telling him how my husband left and I'm also trying to figure out what to do. I wish I could have captured his words, but he gave a long explanation as to how it's much worse when your spouse leaves you than when they die. Obviously we don't want either to happen, but betrayal and abandonment just have to be two of the worst human experiences that exist in the world.
