My kids are very supportive. To the point of wanting me to move in with them. A really great gesture of which I am proud of them for that. Am I ready for that? I don't know. Post D it would put a damper on a new R with whoever. Yes no change, hoping to work this out with Mrs. Turbine.
Speaking of which here are the following tidbits for consideration.
L says in conversation with other L that W seems hesitant. I want to talk to her again and make sure what is being conveyed. I want to act from as solid a position as I can. No expectations, no pressure, any change to be incremental and easy to pull back from. Although victory favors the bold. Not sure who said it but it sounds familiar.
Text from oldest D. Apparently W asked her if I am mad about something. Not mad, at least not anymore, but devastated would be closer. On the road to rebuilding even. Told D that if it comes up again and her mom asks to be honest when answering. Better yet to have her mom ask me directly.
I really don't know what prompted this. Idle curiosity at best. Maybe cleaning her car off. Wishing her a good morning or have a good day. Friendly neighbor stuff.
I don't want to be a nice guy. I want to be a good guy. I want my wife with all her baggage. Of course she gets me with all my baggage so that is an even deal. I want the Turbine 2.0 to be accepted and permanent. I'd like her to give me a fair chance. I seek to be better in many ways. Inspired by her... I'll admit that. I have continued with church, exercise and more because I want to, beyond her returning. Because if that is the goal then why do or continue after getting to that goal. Nope, going to be a goal that is just a step or two ahead. One more set of curls. One more new word in Tagalog. Getting an unexpected smile or laugh or hug or kiss or anything that shows she loves me.
If God's plan is something else I can't see right now... well then the changes will be for the next R. I hope and pray the lady in that R is the lady in my heart still. Time will tell. I still love her so much.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
