Finding the Balance and then Tipping the Scale

[lost8]

Hey Adam, I'm just touching base in response to your comment on my sitch. Yeah I remember the three month mark and that was when I moved out of the MBR in disgust and was still snooping and pursuing. I really didn't start db'ing until that point and it really started with coming here, reading, researching and acting on my own instead of waiting for WW to come around. That's really when things turned around and realized the person I had become after 18 years of MR and saw that I too wasn't happy. Then I started to work on how I was going to change...and it all happened very slowly, I set goals physically and got myself in the best shape of my life, went shopping for myself for new clothes, planned small GAL activities and met new people which was very big I believe because I was happy with the small circle I had before.

Over the last few weeks WW has pulled back from her girls gone wild lifestyle. She now says she has a hard time leaving the house from her stay at home job and isn't sure if its depression or that she wants to spend more time with me. I have no idea if she is in contact with OM and I honestly don't care...if she wants to discuss that I will but like everyone says you have to get to the point of rope drop. I am not married right now, that was a contract with terms that were broken and is just a piece of paper. WW has said many things lately and has been acting like she is fighting to move towards R but I am sure is still fighting the addiction of the A as well......that I am not getting involved in...not my fight.

You asked whether I could take her back and love her again and I just won't know until we get to a point where we have to make a decision. She has a long way to go with therapy and I have repressed any of the questions that I need answered about the A, OM etc and have no interest pursuing them right now. I am continuing to do my thing and am encouraging W to get out again and see her "friends". The only thing that matters is that I will be a better person after this is over whether its R or D and my kids will as well. It is very hard to get to this point and I am over the anger that I had for my WW. We know that we will always love each other but in a different way just because of our time together but we are just not sure if there will ever be a new relationship.

Keep pushing through Adam, I know it is tough. Work on yourself, I know its a cliche but it is the truth. You will start seeing your own light at some point and realize that you will be good with or without her.