*There’s just something about me that doesn’t trust the W. I know I should detach, but man....
When you get BD'd then quite often the WAS begins to treat things like you are already D'd. So if she is messing around, to the LBS that is cheating but to the WAS it's not. So if you're referring to that then no, you absolutely cannot trust her to remain faithful. But it doesn't matter because she no longer cares about your trust and doesn't feel obligated to honor it.
Quote
*I know she hit me with the ILYBINILWY bomb back in Feb., but since our talk back in Oct. I’m finding myself less and less charmed by her—and honestly, less and less in love with her, too. I still want to work on self with hope of better MR long-term, but I’m finding her emotional distance and lack of affection bothersome. She calls me more and more by first name instead of by a term of affection—that probably shouldn’t bother me as much, but it does.
So what I'm hearing is "I am detached but I'm not detached." IE, you're not charmed by her (detached) but she doesn't call you sweetie and that upsets you (not detached). Here's the long and short of it- you're not detached. And that's OK, detachment takes time. But don't try to convince yourself you're detached when you're not, that will just cause you some emotional problems.
Quote
I guess this just means I need to detach more and GAL more?
Yes. Detachment isn't a switch you flip, it's more like a rheostat that you slowly turn up. Keep turning
