Maybe this is just being controlling again but thoughts on - we will not talk about anything but D4 unless youre in IC and decide to be committed to doing your work individually and our MR.
Don't attach caveats and don't make demands. That's the controlling part. Use "I" language such as "W, continuing to discuss our situation is really upsetting me so I feel we should only have discussions about D4 from now on, I hope you understand." You can't make her go to IC, you're not even in a position to suggest she go to IC. So don't even bring it up. I hope you understand that even if she goes to IC it's highly unlikely to change anything in your sitch. Most ICs just listen and validate, they don't try to fix marriages or anything like that.
Quote
I will only pay rent of 1325$ which is $1000 less than I’ve been paying unless we D.
This is a really tough one to answer. I think your W doesn't work, correct? So if you were to legally separate or divorce then you would have some legal obligation to support her. So it's reasonable to expect to also have that obligation now before S or D. But how much is that obligation? We don't know. I think I had suggested before that you discuss it with your L, I still think that would be prudent. Tell him/ her how much you've been paying and that you want to reduce it and see what he/ she says.
