Getting Mixed Signals - New Thread

[Living]

So yesterday after work, I pulled over at the park and I cried the hardest cry I have in the longest time. I cannot believe my marriage has come to this. I cannot believe that this is where I’m at with my H. I mourn the beautiful marriage we had. I mourn the wonderful husband he was. He was my best friend. It still shocks me that he has done the things he’s done. I’ve told my mother, sisters, and best friend what has happened. They are all in shock. They can’t beleve he is acting this way. I hate that the MLC fairies came and stole my loving and wonderful H.

So today I feel so sad. Still taking my power back and proud of that. However, today I feel so sad.

Of course you feel that way! It just means you are caring and sensitive. Embrace that.

You're talking like your H has passed away, which in many ways is not far from the truth. In MLC something happens to people, their personality is so radically different it's very much like dealing with someone who has had a traumatic brain injury. There is good and bad news. The good news is many MLCers do return to their old selves at some point. The bad news is it usually takes many years. So settle in because none of this is likely to change anytime soon.

Regarding him being up and pacing at night, it sounds like he's having anxiety attacks. Maybe that will get better now that he's decided not to move out.

Thank you AS for the kind words. Today was a rough day, hoping tomorrow will be better. I agree that I am a very caring person and when I love, I love hard. I’m so angry at my H but eventually I have to stop being angry and take that energy and use it more positively. Right now I’m allowing myself grace to feel the way I feel. It’s hard to fight the feelings of hurt and anger. However, I pray for better days.

You’re right in that my husband has changed radically. I only see a shell of the man he used to me. So in some sense it almost feels like he died or that he’s been abducted. I still pray for my husband. I pray that someday he does get back to the man he used to be or a better version of who he used to be. It’s funny how you can be so angry at someone who has clearly done you wrong, yet you still pray for their wellbeing.

I think I’m finally sure that my H has a long road with this MLC he is in. I hope and pray he continues to get counseling because he needs it.

It’s possible that he’s having anxiety attacks as he was diagnosed with a mild form of anxiety. His therapist also told him he believes he is suffering from depression also. The depression causes him not to sleep much, which probably explains why he’s up all night.

Thank you for your prayers for better days. I trust God and I know if he brings me to this, he’ll bring me through if,