Harvey, read other men's profiles on the dating sites. Your initial draft sounds like all the others, you're trying to sell yourself. You've got to do something to stand out and be different. Have you ever seen the Wolf of Wall Street? I love how at the end of the movie he hands the pen to people and says "sell me this pen". They're all like "well this is a lovely pen, it writes really well, looks great, has lots of ink..." That's bad sales tactics. What's good sales tactics? Create demand. Like earlier in the movie when he hands it to one of his salesmen and says "sell me this pen." The guy says "hey, write my name down." He says "but I don't have a pen." He says "here you go". See the difference?
I started out with a profile much like yours. I got very little in the way of results. I had a female friend critique it and I also researched it on the 'net and rewrote it to be almost like an audition. I didn't sell myself, I said what it was I was looking for and invited women to write me if they thought they measured up. That one got much better results. Alpha males don't try to sell themselves because they know their value. Instead they make women sell themselves to them. Beta men try to sell themselves to the women. But there are already so many profiles out there like that that it doesn't get any attention.
Also some more key points I learned from women I talked to- be 100% clear on your status to them. If you are newly divorced then let them know early on. It's a deal-killer for a lot of women. Some women will even state things in their profile like "do not contact me unless you have been divorced at least 2 years." Why? Because they know those men are still holding a candle for their ex. Do not post pics of material things in your profile (car, motorcycle, boat, etc.) That is a huge turn-off. Men give a lot of "worth" to the things a person owns, the more stuff they have then the higher men think their "status" is. Women do not think that way, it turns most of them off in fact. Don't post a bunch of selfies. Selfies say "unsociable, lonely, loser". Go out with friends doing fun stuff- hiking, beach, mountains, zip-lining, whatever and have someone take pictures of you by yourself and with others. Pictures like that tell women "here's a guy that is active and fun-loving and has lots of friends, he must be high value."
If you say in your profile that you would like to go to Kenya on safari or Colorado skiing, they're probably thinking "yeah BS, he probably sits at home watching Oprah." But if you don't say ONE WORD about that but post PICTURES of yourself snow skiing, toasting with friends in a lodge and out on an African safari, then their reaction will be "wow I want to know more about this guy, I wonder if I am good enough for someone like this."
