I think Steve is onto something here. It does appear that you blame yourself a bit. While both partners are responsible for the highs and lows in a M, I don't think that makes us responsible or deserving of how we are treated by them when they mistreat us.
I do believe in karma, but I also know that terrible things happen to good people. What I mean is that I don't think they are mutually exclusive. I work in an ICU and am surrounded by suffering and death. I see it happen to people that abuse and neglect their bodies for years and I also see it as much in those that take care of themselves. It pains me when I see a young and healthy mother (especially a kind, loving and devoted person) wither away to cancer. Then she leaves behind these innocent babies that will go through life without their mom. No child deserves that, yet it happens. None of us can explain why, but it does.
I wonder if believing in the idea of karma is as significant as the karma itself. I often choose to do good things and joke to myself that I am banking good karma. Just as a superficial example, I am all about the good carpool karma. It your kid needs a ride to practice, you can text me, and I'll take them. I will go out of my way to help friends and parents on any day that I can. I do this in hopes that when I need help getting my kids there, it will be returned. Mostly, I do it because it feels good to help others. It gives me a little boost. So I know I have to keep doing good, not just to get something in return, but because I have faith it grows me as a person. Those little boosts do add up!
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
