Determined now as I move forward..

[Dtrmned]

Updating...
A very crazy day yesterday. mostly spent at the hospital and my daughter is now in a place for the next 3 days. I hope they give her the tools she needs to get back on track! Wasn't even supposed to see my W this week, but ended up spending close to 6 hours with her over the last 2 days and talking constantly about our daughter. Weird. We always come together very well with any crisis (except our MR, no jab intended, just pointing that out) so most of the conversations were easy and we communicated well. There were a few times I could have said some things, but I didn't. I listened, validated and did not steer anything towards our MR or any type of R talk. Even though I know part of the issue with our daughter is the MR relationship and how it is and has gone.

Already spoken with her twice regarding our kids this morning. There was one financial issue that came up. She dodged it quickly, I didn't force it and moved the focus back to our children.

My first time without the kids. I wouldn't wish what my daughter is going through on anyone, but it was great to see them both even for a short time. I am hoping I get a little time to visit with my daughter this evening (her choice if she wants visitors or not). It is lonely at the house. Dealing with that loss and doing all I can to keep busy. Man. I am cleaning and doing stuff like nobody's business!

I am constantly battling the sadness, loneliness and loss presently. The "weight" of our relationship and having her out of the home is good. My kids being gone is not. Understandable with what is going on, my W looks very tired, can't complete her sentences when we talk and is always saying she is exhausted and needs sleep. I am making sure that I am always looking my best as I truly don't know when I will get a call and may have to meet for something regarding our kids. Just preparing for the future mostly. I don't like it. I still love my wife. GAL all the way. Adding in some more activities both with the kids (next week) and individually when I unfortunately don't have them. Went to a Christmas party a couple of nights ago as well. I was a work related function, but a couple hundred people, food and drink. It was fun. I didn't tell my W that I was going. No one to answer to at home so I didn't volunteer. She did call during the event and I took the call since it might have been about our daughter. She said "whats that in the background" and I informed her I was at a function. She hesitated for a moment and then said "well, I didn't know you were doing that and I guess you don't have to let me know either". I didn't respond. I did get a compliment or two on how I looked so that was a nice ego boost. I did leave early but I think it was a successful evening out. I have another one next week as well. Keeping busy and looking forward to having my children back on Friday!