I have accepted it must be a karmic relationship, I am paying back for something I must have really wronged him for previously. I am a techie by profession but I have leaned so much into the metaphysical realm for support to make any sense of my life at this phase.
sia, this makes me think you blame yourself. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. It isn't about pay back etc. It is about the fact that people have freewill and can choose behaviors that harm others. Think about it, if everything bad was the result of someone doing something bad themselves, where did it start? There could never have been the first bad thing because everyone would have been innocent and undeserving of the bad pay back!
No this is about your H making horrible life choices.....and because we live in an unfair world you and your Ds (as well as many other people on the periphery of your lives) have to suffer because of if. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS!!
And therefore, he doesn't deserve you EVER taking him back.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
