Is love worth the pain? Back to Basics

[TJT]

So what do I say in MC I want to say all the stuff I believe she needs to see an IC for that she holds in.

I guess this is fixer white knight syndrome. So I just say nothing and dB try to get over her.

Yes. Did, I can say with confidence you are trying to fix her and even you realize that that's not feasible. You are even holding yourself higher than your MC... "what do I say in MC..." Isn't that for the MC to determine?! You are not the therapist. I get while we can see and understand a lot of what our S can't, they are not going to change or do the work unless they want to, and IF they want to, I feel pretty strongly that in such a damaged relationship, you will HAVE to let a third party and your W work out what progress looks like. You being the person to call the shots and evaluate things is not going to do anything positive for they dynamics of your relationship even if you are right.

Keep a list of all of the bad things she's done, things she makes you feel bad about, things you've tried, etc. Re-read it often, any time you are getting the urge to talk with her or whatever.