Focus on this sentence. Remind yourself over and over again that she has never been heard - or never FELT that she has been heard. She may spew hatred or inaccuracies to avoid getting to the meat of what she needs to address. She may avoid avoid avoid or try to throw you under the bus somehow. But in knowing her history, is there any doubt as to why that is?
You are coming from a place of strength, she is coming from a place of weakness. Be stronger. You can listen and validate her because you see her pain. You can DB. You can get all of your angst and frustration out here on the forum or with a trusted IC or friend. She cannot. She is unable to do that. Give her every chance you can to get to that point. For her this will not be 1 or 2 sessions in MC or IC. This is a lifetime goal, which hopefully she can make progress in.
Sometimes when you create more silence people get nervous. They start to fill that silence, and say more than they thought they would. Give her that silence, even to the point of awkward silence. See what she fills it with.
