(((sia))) You amaze me. You are a model DBer. I know it can be draining to post here too and painful to even spell out the words at times. I hope that you will continue to do so. I want posters to see that it is okay to let go! It is best for you and your sanity to just let go of this toxic man and focus on you and your girls. You are not hanging on to the idea of him or disillusioned that having him back would be better for you. He would need to change and be remorseful before you even considered him! So you know you don't need to waste time worrying about him because he has not shown you someone that can be trusted or share mature love. You don't want him as he is.
Most posters just hang on to their M, the idea that it would be better with them, and they are not doing the hard work that leads to healthy detachment. I struggled with this for a long time too. You really seem to get it and so I believe you will heal and feel better in time. You also build confidence as you know your worth and won't settle for less. Pining for someone that is rejecting us, is toxic to our soul. That toxicity keeps us feeling low about ourselves and so we long even more for someone that is not worthy of us. .... And your progress is rare for someone here that has been at it for under a year. I hope you can give yourself credit for that and find additional strength and resolve. We can all learn something from your story! Your girls are lucky to have you as their mama.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
