Ugh... I was just in the lunchroom listening to people talk about upcoming travel plans. Reminded me that this time last year, I was looking forward to our first big family vacation. I so wish I had known it was our last. Our last Christmas as a family. Hard to keep back the tears. I'm sure my H doesn't think about any of those things. He's just looking forward to his "freedom". I so can't wait to get the holidays over with.
Two things:
1) I think ultimately it was great you didn't know it was the last. You hopefully were able to enjoy it authentically - both the ups and downs that may have been happening on the trip. (Also: you don't "know" anything. But I get what you mean)
2) You don't know your H isn't thinking about these things. He very well might be - probably is. Just in a different way because he's lost.
You too can look forward to your "freedom". But maybe choose a different word. Just find something to look towards. It's so hard this time of year, when many of our holidays focus around the past and traditions. Do you celebrate Easter? Maybe look forward to that in a few months. A date that focuses on rebirth and spring. I don't identify as a Christian but I still "celebrate" Easter for those two reasons (and bunnies. and chocolate.)
