D9 is falling apart and it is tearing me to pieces. She has been complaining of tummy aches for the last two days so we let her stay home but she seemed to be fine.
Hi Ryan - D12 has had reoccurring tummy pains since BD. It comes and goes. Google reoccurring tummy pains in children. It happens in about 1 in 10 and, whilst the pain they are feeling is real, it is potentially psycho-symptomatic in that it is a physical manifestation of anxiety and/or depression.
If it gets worse it might be worth considering getting a therapist for her. In the meantime, keep an eye out and keep her distracted and be as patient as you can with her. We were also been advised not to let D12 miss any school as it will mean that they will then get anxious about what they missed, and it becomes a bit of a vicious cycle.
The other thing she does is get upset at the littlest thing. Not being able to find the right socks in the morning or the hair ribbon she just has to have that day.
What we've found is that these aren't necessarily triggered by anything to do with the S (to be honest, the S is like a silent elephant in the room) but random little things. It is like she is overwhelmed by what is going on, and trying to keep it all together for us, that she loses it over everything else.
Anyway, distract, pay attention, give her lots of your time and affection and let her know you are there if she wants to talk (but don't force her to talk). Remind her as often as possible that she is loved by both of you. Be excited about the times she spends with you and the times she spends with her mom. Let her know that you are ok with it all.
Lastly, my H tried to palm it off as "hormones" and my over-reacting. He has accepted more recently that there is a problem but thinks it might be that she is being bullied at school - he brought up stories of bullying going on at ANOTHER SCHOOL this morning. Anything but face the fact that D12's anxiety might have something to do with her parents splitting up.
