Jim, your sitch is in a state where every one reaches eventually I guess. Pleasant, non adversarial but your W seems full of guilt and confusion. You being so calm and centered I am sure is throwing her off balance but its her problem. Knowing that you stood for your MR, owned your mistakes, did everything you could to save the MR and family for your S must make you peaceful at the same time these are exactly the things your W did not do so she has to bear this burden. Continue being strong, good luck
