[Wanted1]

My fear is that your hopes are too high W1. Retrouvaille is like any other marriage bootcamp type thing. The LBS goes in thinking "so you're saying there is a chance!". The WAS goes in thinking "cool, another checkbox we can check of the things we tried to saved things". So please make sure, if you guys end up going, to not attach too much hope to it. If Retrouvaille were the magic bullet for saving sitches we'd be suggesting to all newbies to get their WAS there at all costs!

It isn't. So we don't.

Yes, I get that. My hopes really aren't that high. I would consider it a miracle if one weekend turned things around. From what I've read the 6 follow up sessions are just as important. I think if she is conscientious and deliberate in doing those with me, that bides us some time and space as well. We would have to do those online since we would be traveling 6 hours one way to go this weekend. Can't really afford to do that 6 more weekends and from what's researched, they offer those follow ups online now to do on your own.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not hopeful that I'm going to see a turnaround on Sunday night after it concludes, but with the follow ups over the course of the next 6 weeks, and if I'm diligent in continue to detach in a loving way, maybe over time she will warm up to the idea of R.

I don't think my hopes are too high. I think I need to have a little bit of faith and try to trust the process, however. I've always figured that if this doesn't help matters than maybe 'the writing is on the wall.'

If your sitch goes like most sitches, you will either R....or you will be the one that ends up filing.

WASs are notoriously lazy at doing the actual work on the D.

Right now, I'm pretty confident I'm not going to file. However, I'll reserve the right to change my mind down the road. At this time, I'm pretty adamant about not doing so. I've told her that if this is what she wants, she is going to have to be the one to do it. I don't have a crystal ball so I can't say that something doesn't change my mind moving forward however.

Maybe it will boil down to how long I can continue doing what we are doing right now. She has it pretty good right now based on what she wants. Really no M responsibilities but all of the advantages of continuing to live in the MH with our kids and the ability to see them everyday. Pretty much cake eating. I've never been a real patient person as I'm sure you can gather from following my sitch! At some point I will get fed up with it and maybe the only way to move forward is me filing.....I know I'm not going to continue in this limbo pattern for an extended period of time.